IN HIS SILENCE

Lord i need to hear you speak

you seem so far away

I want to hear your voice

like every other day

"My child If iam silent

its not that i don't speak

Its in this time I strengthen

The parts of you that's weak"

But Lord the pain in hurting

far to much for me to bear I need to know your voice

to know that you are there

"oh my beautiful darling

ill never leave your side

Just hold on tight and don't let Go

were going for a ride

This ride is like a roller coaster

you will go up and down

bit i have got you covered

and have my angels all around"

your rough days will come,but they will pass

and smiling will resume

your heart may feel it is breaking

but healing will come soon

If every ride was easy

you'd never need to pray

your tears are like an ointment

that will soothe your Pain away

you say some things just don't make sense

I know you feel this way

but i see the beginning and the end

and you will to one day

I understand Your fears

yep every single one

but as you journey through them

they will one day be gone

I told you ill rebuild you

and build you back i will

but for this present storm your in

I need you to be still

Be still and know that iam God

Iam jealous for your heart

I love you with a passion

know let this journey start

So in my silence Know one thing

Iam always by your side

Iam yours you are mine

and iam with You on this ride" 

LOVE GOD

© Deb Matheson 2012

I remember  a powerful woman of God who use to pastor here on the Goldie Ps Jane Moncrieff prophesying over me many years ago, when my love for writing was a secret.
She said that I was going to write words from our Fathers heart, which would first prophesy to me than to others …
well I want to confirm that it is coming to pass, This season in my life is one of heartache some days confusion and complete utter brokenness a season that I know God will and is going to rebuild restore and take back to full wholeness in him a season to be  refreshed, restored and refueled …..so I can fire back on all cylinders
However leading up to this season things around me started to crumble,my family started to disintegrate before my eyes  …..i would cry ,I would yell ,and then ,one week end I just lost it ,I fell apart, if only I had stopped trying to keep it all together …agggrrrhhh and here is me writing a book called Feminine yet Fearless © and a Women's guide to Nakedness© when really I wanted to call it being (feral and frightened )ha-ha and (a women's guide to pulling the covers over my head and running away) haha

So I am really seeking God in helping me to use my experiences, raw and real and see women in churches set free,  in our communities, cities,nation and world,enabling them to breathe but of course it starts with me agggrrhh don’t ya hate that !!!!!!!!!!!!!

So I am sitting in the car and I got I picture of a beautiful vase it was as if was watching a video I looked at this vase and it was chipped it was being moved around a room and kept getting chipped and I saw a women running around with glue fixing all the chips,the vase no longer looked attractive it had more cracks in it than a pavement, and it no longer looked like it was originally suppose to look

Then I saw a man he picked up the vase and smashed it …..then he took the women to a chair and he started from make a new one …….it was even better than the latter

I felt God say that that truly it is his desire for us …..he no longer wants us to cover up all the chips every time we get hurt or knocked about  hoping  no one sees ,or can even tell,believing as long as it looks good that’s all that should matter, well eventually the cracks will show …..

He wants us to be completely broken,so that he can make us new, molding us to His way.

Some of us treat our lives like great grandmas antique vase ,the thought of losing it to get a better one is the most absurd thing we have  ever heard…… so at all cost we try to keep it together ,when it’s really falling apart

Girls I don’t know where you’re at …maybe it’s just me …..but I doubt it ……..
But I believe God calling us to a place of honesty before him and others ,a place where there is nothing left , but Him ….a place where HE is the only one to fill us …
Girls we have an amazing destiny …our promise land could be as close as our next breath …but we will never make it unless we smash our old ways, and become broken in the potter’s hands
Oouch its not painless but the results are breathtaking……………………..
Love you all debs xx

whose shoes do you choose

None of us want to ever be described or associated with the thought that we are anyone less than Cinderella.
Just the mere thought of being the ugly sister or any of the other women at the ball, just doesn’t seem right.
Yet many of us, if not all of us, have acted those parts out very well in the production called - real life…
Girls, many times in our lives if we are truly honest with ourselves, we have desired to walk in someone else’s shoes, frequently thinking in the back of our minds how grand it would be……even for just a day.
Some of us have tried and tried to squeeze into them but they were not made for us.

If only we could……..all our dreams would be answered……..just one try of the shoe and our life would become a fairy tale.
 We would try in desperation to squeeze into it,whaterver it may be  with the hope that it  would be the answer to all our problems
I can just imagine the sounds as all those women  saw the Prince  marching into town; masses of women all different shapes and sizes,  knowing in their heart that the shoe was not theirs but frantically hoping it would fit.

It’s funny really, I can envisage this tiny little slipper being presented and women with size 10 feet doing everything possible to squeeze into it, but to no avail. (It’s like the jeans scenario… it doesn’t matter if you can’t breathe, at least you look good, ha-ha.)

Well girls, if we were transparent with ourselves and each other, we could confess that there are times when we ourselves have desperately tried to walk in someone else’s shoes……. I mean come on, their lives look perfect…… they always dress well……… smile beautifully……..have amazing husbands……..and kids……….. .immaculate homes……. laundries (my bane) that never have dirty washing in them……… white tile floors that never get dirty……… and to top it off, never seem tired, look tired, get tired …… arrggghh. Oh and before I forget, they have no stretch marks, cellulite or pimples. And they still fit in, feeding the hungry, visiting the prisons etc. etc.

Girls, how sad can we be? ….. There are no living breathing women on this planet that is perfect. When our heavenly Father knitted us in our mother’s womb He had ONE specific call for YOU and YOU alone.
I believe that as we take the slipper that has been crafted for us to wear, we won’t need to try and squeeze ourselves into anything else, we will never have to frantically fit into something that is not ours to fit into.
At the beginning of the 10th century, a custom practiced in China was foot binding, where girls as young as five would have their feet bound with bandages so that their feet would not grow. It was done more in the wealthier parts of china when the girls’ feet were bound in this manner. Four toes would break on each foot in the first year causing the feet to be deformed.
When we try and fit our lives into the shoes of others we become bound. We don’t grow and we can’t fulfil God’s special design and things break down, as we try impatiently to be someone that we were never called to be.
We too, can end up deformed and stunted in our growth.
We don’t really have a choice of what type of shoes we get to wear as they have already been picked out for us, but as we accept the pair we are given, the colors come alive…..they are a perfect fit…..others look, as we wear our shoes with pride. Our whole posture changes, we see things differently……………………..to be cont

Deb Matheson 2009 ©

As women often in life the pressure is on ....one way or another,  here are just some of the sounds we hear in our heads, about becoming  the perfect women
*smile always

*hair perfect

*dress amazing

*spotless homes ,

*well behaved children,
*never have a headache before bed haha
*bigger boobs

*never argue yell or scream

*never say how you really feel

 and the list goes on and on

sadly this list is a lie, a big fat, flat out lie, you see there is nothing perfect in plastic ...its not real or authentic

all this list creates is a bunch of robots that are dying on the inside

Girls its OK to be YOU .............................................................

the D word

I am not  sure why it happens but i know for me, when i was a  leader in ministry, there was and sadly still is a huge stigma around depression ...its like as if humans are super humans .......I have never in my entire life had depression, so when she walked in to my life it was a shock.
 I had tried to deny it for about 2 years, masking it with Scripture and  a smiley face ..but depression cant remain hidden, she has a way of finding a gap in our plastic facades and pulling us down ...
I remember not really thinking i had it, but from being a clean freak to then noticing that my dishes had been piling as had my laundry ...its the little things that started to make me think....
  i had been invaded,  i was no longer me
I gained 20 kilos and really found it hard to go out
I took 3 mths off from pastoring, but nothing seemed to help me,  I never would say the D world ..
I would always just put it down to tiredness.

Then one day  i started to get thoughts horrid thoughts ..i would yell at my family for nothing and then cry hysterically and I was getting scared the pressures of losing a baby a few years prior (rachel louise),then  having a daughter be bullied, losing my mother in law, and having my husband have a near fatal accident, losing our home, buissness, ministry, and friends,all within a matter of months had finely taken its toll ..then one day i lost it i thew my family out of the house and just cried and cried ...it was that night I new this was a little more than just tirednes this my friends was what i had dreaded and tried to stand agaist thats when i knew depression hadnt only knocked on my door she had taken up and began to reside

its been a long rd, but one that would of been longer if i hadn't come to admit and aknowlage  it for what it was.

Depression isn't prejudice with who she resides with.. I found once i was honest it was easier,to begin a process back towards wholeness 

The reason iam writing this, is because you may be feeling similar ....and its the worst place to be ..

No one understands unless they have been there,but i want to say you don't have to do this alone ...

There is no shame

No lack of Faith

Life pulls punches and sometimes we get hit

We have Drs who can help with various medication to help set your serotonin back on track

and above all we have a wonderful healing God who longs to do a deep work within your heart ...so dont do what i did and hide behind words and smiles and a few extra glasses of wine in the hope youll fall asleep and by morning life will be rosey again ....be honest, couragous, brave and strong and be real about were your at...its then God starts to do what God does best ..

 Refuse to be chained and imprisioned by the lies that say if you have deppression your weak, that style of thinking is false and keeps you trapped unable to be whom God has called you to be .....The strength and strong in faith admit were they are at and do whatever it takes to get well ....living a life of transparency ...
plastic people melt when the heat is on 

get raw, real, and whole and know your amazing just the way you are  

time to strip off

Do you sit in the shadows of your past

Are you silent about the mistakes you have made

Does guilt, shame and regret cloud your very being .........

If so then its to to undress

Time to take of the grave clothes

Time to get naked before God

Time to say this far and no further

Time to walk free

..a women's guide to nakedness is a blog to help women from all over the world ..

no matter what your  shape, size or colour

regardless if  your an executive women, or a stay at home mum ..ex drug addict, current drug addict ..ex prostitute, current prostitute

you see its not about where or who you are today ..its all about who and were you will be tomorrow
lets break the rules girls

lets take of our masks

and GET NAKED

Ok according to Australian statistics 1in 3 women have had an abortion ....that is every 3 women ...that means in our churches ...workplace ..shops etc ..............that means there are a lot of broken women.....
As men and women of God what are we doing to address this pain ....are we just praying it will go away by 3 songs an message and coffee .....
i am afraid to say its not going to happen............. its time we addressed the fundamental issues that haunt so many men and women .............
the things we don't want to address
 the ......the things the enemy tried to destroy us with .....but failed ..............lets address the REAL RAW ISSUES ..